Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The Shallow Pool


The prompts were dirty and cure



This dirty stain of wanting,
What he has and she has
“Bullshit,” cries Envy
“You want better,
You want more”
A never ending thirst
Carried around in
Gucci bags
Cures promised in
The pages of glossy
Magazines and billboards,
Shouted from flickering
Images of the idiot box
Temporary happiness
Bought and sold in
This shallow pool
Yet, never seeming
To satisfy



copyright Sherry Obsheatz

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you've done an excellent job with these prompts, White Rose. I especially like the aside from Envy. That enriches the poem greatly. You've described a 'shallow pool' exceedingly well..:)

Anonymous said...

Whew! That one takes you by storm! Well done! BTW - by any chance was the shape of the poem supposed to be an hourglass? Just wondering....

White Rose said...

No, it was supposed to be more like a fish. But clever of you to notice I was trying to incorporate a shape.

fish-shallow pool

paisley said...

well i am seeing the shapely body of the fashonista female in the visual on this poem...

well done.. i removed myself from the media pool about 15 years ago,, the last real recollection i have of fashion or what was "in" was "jordache jeans' ( i don't really even know how to spell it now that i am writing it down...) believe it or not,, and no,, i never actually owned a pair....

i loved the feeling of being swallowed up i got from this... very well done.....

Anonymous said...

Well done! I've left the land of consumerism for a spell in the mountains. None of this sort of stuff up here...we live in t-shirts and jeans. By the way, the hourglass shape was a nice touch...

gautami tripathy said...

Wonderful! It looks great visually too!

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I like it when someone uses a prompt word in an unusual way, so 'the dirty stain of wanting' does it for me. Wanting is 'a never ending thirst' that just leads to more wanting.

rebecca said...

how sad is this, right? yet, you've summed it up nicely, "this shallow pool yet never seeming to satisfy." you hit the nail on the head.

this was excellent. well done.

Melissa said...

In the fabulous Eckhart Tolle book, he puts so much in perspective about this and much more. How it's the ego who lives our lives and not our true selves. We let ego take over and ego is never, ever satisfied. It never lives truly in the moment. This was such a stabbing truth that so many of us are aware of. Fabulous!

By the way...the poem I wrote on the child was inspired by the first few chapters in Jane Eyre. It was so gripping....I however, gave her an immediate escape.

HUGS xoxo It's good to log on again to write. I have more I hope to write this weekend. xo

White Rose said...

I'm going to have to look up the Exkhart Tolle book. It sounds like something I would really be interested in. Actually, I got the idea for the poem, from a documentary, Century of Self.

It is on you tube, Very interesting and you will be amazed how much the public is manipulated.