Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts

Sunday, August 17, 2008

for Rochell





I kept your

kaleidoscopic ink,

A friendship chronicled,

Words ribboned

in attar.

Roses in a vase,

A mantle-piece shrine,

Always close to my heart.





still missing you

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

More Lauren...



The car was silent as we turned onto the driveway. I was apprehensive about seeing the hospital, for some reason images of the movie The Snake Pit kept running through my head, but I started to relax as we rolled along the tree-lined drive. The place has a resort atmosphere to it, vaulted ceilings lend an airy feel and high windows throw dazzling sunlit patterns on the corridor walls. Brian and I head to the receptionist desk to get directions to Lauren’s room. I can tell he's nervous. We follow the squelch, squelch, squelch of the nurse’s shoes on the tiled floor. The heavy door opens and she is asleep, her coppery hair spread out on the stark white pillowcase like a fiery fan. It is hard for me to reconcile this sleeping angel with the crazed woman rocking back and forth in my living room. Her father motions for us to follow him out into the hallway. I have problems focusing on what he is saying, psychotic episode, powerful anti-psychotic drugs, should be able to lead a normal life. Brian and I nod like frightened children as we realize this is a chronic condition and she is very likely to have another episode.

Lauren is released from the hospital a week later and she decided to move back to her father’s house for awhile. This upsets me, but I know it is for the best. Visiting her on a regular basis, she is heavily medicated and I notice a dullness has crept into her voice. They’re still trying to find the proper dosages for my medication she says. She visits her psychiatrist routinely and slowly as if being pulled through a dense fog, I start seeing glimpses of my Lauren, the ready smile, goofy laugh and her quick wit. Her father helps her get a good job with the city and she does very well. Life seems to be pushing her along to a bright future and Brian has stayed with her through the good and the bad.

One weekend the three of us go out to lunch and they surprise me with the news of their engagement. She asks me to be her Maid of Honor and I see how happy she is and any misgivings I have fall away and I gladly accept. They have a small ceremony six months later and she is radiant as she walks down the aisle. Small white flowers cascade from her glowing red hair and her dress is simple, except for the intricate lace work on the bodice. As she approaches the altar she squeezes my hand and whispers best friends forever. I smile and nod as she turns to face Brian. All goes smoothly and I cry a little as they exchange rings. The reception is full of dancing and drunken merriment that lasts well into the wee hours of the morning. I give Lauren and Brian a hug as the leave for the airport for a quiet honeymoon in Belize. Any worry of another episode is firmly pushed from my mind as I watch her laugh and wave from the car window.


to be continued...


copyright Sherry Obsheatz

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Lauren


I graduated valedictorian, was the first thing she ever said to me. She was bright, funny and pretty and we became fast friends. Soon we were inseparable and decided to get an apartment together. Our days were spent working to buy new outfits for the weekend. Saturday afternoons we’d dye our hair a wild color and paint each other’s nails getting ready for a night out. It was the 80’s, we were young and we drank too much and experimented with drugs. We relished the feeling of invincibility that only the young can truly experience.

One night after a marathon of dancing we headed home and started chatting into the wee hours of the morning. Our noses burning and gums numbed from cocaine, we passed a joint back and forth trying to relax. It was that special time, when you feel as if you’re the only ones awake in the world.  A time secrets were shared. She tells me she tried to commit suicide a few times. I’m shocked and I ask her why. “I hear voices, she says quietly. I was put on Thorazine when I was a teenager.” I'm not quite sure what to say to her, I ask her if she still hears voices.
“Sometimes she whispers, but not like I used to.” I grab her hand and squeeze and tell her we’ll always be best friends. A couple more hits off the joint and we become drowsy and drift off to our beds for some much needed sleep.

The next six months we keep up this frantic pace, working long hours and then the crazy weekends. One particularly cold Friday night we decide to go to the bar around the corner. The roads were bad and we didn’t want to chance driving. The bar is dimly lit and practically empty, but an attractive guy with long blond hair watches as we take our seats. He makes a beeline for Lauren, they always did. We discover his name is Brian and he orders drinks for all of us. I’m beginning to feel like a third wheel, as they are deep in conversation. Finishing my drink I tap Lauren on the shoulder to let her know I was ready to go home. She says she is going to stay a little longer. I head for the door and ask her to please give me a call if she is going to stay out all night.

Brian begins to take up more and more of Lauren’s time. I feel left out and a bit jealous. I decide to go out with some co-workers on the weekend, because I think she and Brian would rather be alone. But it is not the same. Having more time to myself, I start taking on more responsibility at work. The wild weekends become a thing of the past, as I am much too busy to go out. At the end of the year, I am rewarded for my efforts with a raise and a promotion. I call Lauren to see if she would like to go out to dinner to celebrate and she readily agrees. I’m tired, but excited about the promotion and at the prospect of spending some time with Lauren. I have missed my best friend.

I enter the apartment and I’m stunned to find it in shambles. Cushions on the couch and chairs upturned, every container opened and the contents scattered and clothes in jumbled heaps on the floor. Lauren is in the middle of the chaos rocking back and forth with two black streaks running down her face from her mascara.
I’m terrified! I ask her what happened as I kneel down beside her. "Make them stop laughing, she whispers. They won’t stop laughing." I hug her close and tell her no one is laughing. Finally, with much coaxing I get her to lie down and she eventually falls asleep. I decide to call her father and tell him what has happened. A half an hour later he is there and he takes Lauren home with him.
Filled with anxiety, I can barely sleep that night. The next morning her father calls to tell me she is in the hospital for observation.

to be continued...




copyright Sherry Obsheatz